Musings from Singapore

Tag: language

“Eh bro,”: The most insincere sincerity

If everyone’s a bro, nobody’s really a bro.

You’re on the way to work, scrolling through Reddit as you go through the motions of the daily commute. Giggling (internally) at the latest nonsense on r/disneyvacation, you suddenly see a hand waving in your face. It’s accompanied by an inexplicably-confident “Hey bro!”.

You look up to see someone who is categorically not a “bro” – he’s not your brother, he’s not your friend – heck, you don’t even know him.

He’s an insurance agent, but that’s not the point. More horrifyingly, he’s one of them.

He’s one of those who calls everyone “bro”.


I’m really not sure how this phenomenon came to be. Personally, the use of the word – both outgoing and incoming – started in secondary school, before seeing a sharp uptick during National Service.

I suppose that makes sense. In both scenarios, we’re trying to fit in and/or make life easier for ourselves. And there aren’t many better ways to do that than to be friends with everyone.

Sadly, it seems to have become a crutch and a bad habit that many fail to drop even after (purportedly) growing up to become young adults and professionals. I may even go so far to say that it’s invasive, placing an expectation of kinship and reciprocation on an unsuspecting victim.

Bro.

But maybe that’s just me. I place a lot of value on who I call friends and who I don’t. Emotional, sensitive – label me as you please, but I just really give a shit about such things.

(Note that there’s a difference between being friends and just being friendly; you should be the latter as much as you can, but more fussy with the former, in my opinion.)

The closeness that’s suggested by the word adds a layer of expectation on top of your minimum expectations that come from being ripped out of your own little world.

And then it all comes crashing down when you realize it’s just someone trying to make a buck off of you.

Why do you build me up, just to let me down?

Bro, why build me up just to let me down, bro?

Keep it real

Honesty is the best policy in just about everything, I say. That includes sales activities – be upfront about what you can do for me and what you want in return, and I’d respond much better than if you tried to act like my friend.

It’s funny how trying to be friendly can make you look really insincere, but authenticity is what we’re all really craving now, right?

It’s why the term “influencer” immediately garners snickers of derision. We see the vast majority of them as insincere, fake people who are merely pretending to be our friends.

WordPress doesn’t even recognize it as a real word:

Bro, why red underline ah bro?

The world can be a beautiful place, and a lot of that stems from the friendships and relationships we form with other people. But if you’re not truly sincere about it, even a thousand uses of “bro” will never cut it.

How do you spell that thing Keanu Reeves says?

Whoa? Woah? Woa?

Keanu Reeves has been experiencing a resurgence in the public consciousness lately. From John Wick to Always Be My Maybe and even Toy Story 4, it seems his agent has been hard at work.

He even appeared on the E3 stage, presenting the latest trailer and the release date for the Cyberpunk 2077 (which I’m definitely getting), creating a new meme in the process.

Can you believe this guy is 54 years old? I can’t.

But before ‘breathtaking’, Keanu’s most memorable quote was another singular, exclamatory word:

Whoa.

Whoa.

… which is what this piece is really about. Not the incomparable Mr. Reeves. (Sorry.)

As you can see, I spell the word like so: ‘whoa’. The first time I read the word, it was spelled like this, and that’s now etched into my mind as the one true and right way to do so.

But today I came across an article that spelled it as ‘woah’. And at the risk of being meta (in a stupid way), my first reaction was: “Whoa. Why do people spell it that way?”

(To be clear: it’s not the first time I’ve seen it spelled ‘woah’. But it WAS the first time I stopped to think about it.)

It just looks… wrong to me. It is, without hyperbole, a crime against nature to spell it that way.

I stopped to consider its pronunciation, broken down into phonetic form – wouldn’t that sound like ‘wo-ah’? Which is so obviously wrong that I don’t even need to point it out, do I?

But then, ‘whoa’ broken down in the same way would be ‘wh-o-aye’, and suddenly: incoming existential crisis.

How SHOULD it be spelled then, to fit its pronunciation? The best I could come up with was ‘whoh’, but thinking and typing that out was so painfully unnatural. Look how they (I) massacred my boy.

via GIPHY


My bullshit aside, I think this exercise reminded me that first impressions tend to leave the deepest… impression.

(I write for a living, y’all.)

Another example, and another chance to laugh at me: I must’ve skimmed by really fast when I first read the word ‘abysmal’, because for many years, I thought it was spelled ‘absymal’. I even tried to correct a friend once.

So! While what you see at first might irrevocably colour the way you understand something or someone, sometimes it pays to go back and re-think those opinions.

You never really know something or someone until you give it a few months of active consideration, at least.

… except for words. Just double-check those more than none at all, and you should do better than me.