Tag: dad jokes (Page 15 of 22)

I bought a terrible thesaurus yesterday.

After a terrible two hours reading it, my vocabulary remains terrible.

My wife told me she’s leaving me because I keep pretending to be a transformer.

She wouldn’t stay even after I told her I would change.

You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it.

You know, just in case there’s a salad dressing.

I was playing with my son’s toy train set when my wife walked in on me. I was so embarrassed that I quickly threw his blanket over it.

I hope I managed to cover my tracks.

Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe?

I’m not joking, but he is.

British English has only three vowels: A, I , O.

No more EU for them.

Did you know? If you rearrange the letters of “postmen”…

They get really pissed off.

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language.

I don’t know why.

I tried to warn my son about the dangers of playing Russian roulette…

Unfortunately, it went in one ear and out the other.

It doesn’t matter where in the world you’re from – when you go to the bathroom to do number one, you know what you are?

European.