Tag: dad joke (Page 17 of 24)

I was stuck on a crossword puzzle, so I asked my wife for help.

Me: “Can you help me with this crossword clue – ‘overworked postman’?”

Her: “Sure, how many letters?”

Me: “Probably too many.”

I’m done being a people pleaser.

I hope everyone’s okay with that?

The umbrella was originally supposed to be called a “brella.”

Its inventor just happened to hesitate a little bit.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens.

India is a very peaceful country.

That’s because over there, nobody ever has any beef.

A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

I hate when my mum gets mad at me for being lazy.

I mean, I didn’t do anything.

My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs during my teens.

I replied: “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”

I don’t mean to brag, but I defeated the local chess champion yesterday in less than five moves.

Finally, I’m getting some tangible returns on my weekend karate classes.

What’s the most sarcastic body of water on earth?

The Crimea River.