Every year feels both too long and too short.
On the eve of a new year and decade, I sit alone in my room. It’s a location I’ve barely left in four days, due to a sudden, seemingly random fever+flu combo I caught last Friday.
It’s an extremely disappointing way to end the year. Because of this illness, my girlfriend and I had to scrap dinner plans (a nice one, to cap off the year), I had to pull out of a Dungeons & Dragons game, and my exercise routine – which I’d just properly restarted – stalled.
All that on top of dealing with all the symptoms, of course.
But 2019’s end doesn’t represent the whole year, as much as it’s colouring my perception now. Recap time:
Family
I’m thankful that my parents remain healthy. Neither of them exercise much – they put a lot of their time into work – but that’s changed, especially with my dad.
Ever since the cancer scare a few years ago, he’s incorporated long evening walks into his daily routine. His diet has improved, thanks largely to my mum cooking most dinners nowadays. They used to eat out almost every day.
They even went swimming together a few days ago.
I may never be able to properly communicate on a deep level with them – there’s an insurmountable generation/mindset gap. But I am grateful that they support me regardless. That in itself is priceless.
Brother and his family are doing fine. The small man (my nephew) Brayton amuses me almost every time I see him. He’s mischievous as they come, and has his little tantrums as any three-year-old would, but his wide-eyed enthusiasm for the world around him is refreshing.
I am also deeply thankful for the support Olivia, my sister-in-law, provided when I was job-hunting in late 2018-early 2019. She helped me to find a balance between 1) taking up a job because I need the cash, and 2) taking up a job that’s actually right for me.
In the throes of the arduous job-searching process, it’s easy to just take the first thing that comes along. But she helped me to keep my eye on the prize, and ultimately I rejected two good offers for a great one.
What an amazing segue into the next section.
Work
I’mma get dramatic for a bit:
After three years of running away from my destiny, taking up roles in PR and communications, I finally found a full-time writing position.
A combination of a lack of (suitable) opportunities, a desire to get my career started as quickly as possible, and a self-fulfilling prophecy of a mindset that writing is very tough to make a career of in Singapore meant that I took a really long time to find an answer that I actually knew all along.
The job isn’t all roses; each project presents its own challenges. The thing is, none of them are problematic enough to take away from the general enthusiasm I have for my work.
In other words, I actually enjoy the dirty, gritty details.
My colleagues are great too. A fun bunch of people who I both like being around and can learn from.
The goal now is to keep getting better, expanding the breadth of my work, and, should opportunities present themselves, help younger writers.
I want to pay forward the kindness and guidance that others have shown me, and I feel like the only way I can do so to any discernible degree is with writing.
Friends
I am happy for Max and Win Low finding their respective partners, and Zhen Ling for the healthy birth and development of her daughter.
I am happy for the continued health and well-being of everyone else, even as life hit them hard in various ways throughout the year.
The Bali trip in the middle of the year was one the most fun ones I’ve ever experienced.
I am thankful to have had such people in my life. I don’t know if I even deserve them.
Girlfriend
Jieyi continues to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, bar none.
There were a couple of highlight occasions, like our anniversary, birthdays, the Pokemon Go Safari in April, and the trip we took with my parents to Thailand, but it’s all the little weekday and weekend dates where we didn’t do anything extraordinary that add up and mean more, ultimately.
That’s what a long-term partnership is supposed to be about anyway.
Best of the rest
- Picked up a new hobby recently: Dungeons & Dragons!
- Passed Japanese Language Proficiency Test, N3 level (technically, took the exam late last year, but results+cert came this year)
- Started playing basketball semi-regularly again, with colleagues
- Finally got this site up and running
Goals for 2020
- Lose weight: get to ~72kg
- Write more, and better
- Both at work and on this site and anywhere in general
- Get better at Japanese
- Aim to take JLPT N2 in 2021
- Hold better conversation
There are bigger picture goals such as saving more money and getting a BTO and so on, but those kind of go without saying.
Here’s hoping that the next decade will be a happy and fulfilling one.